Garfield

Ugly...ass ugly and I don't care...

2009-12-26T13:13:00.000-08:00

how much credibility I may lose by saying this, but these 59/50 hats are stupid lookin.

How did these things ever get popular? You don't even wear them the way you do a normal hat. I considered buying one and wearing it just to see if it would "fit" me and my style. It was then that I decided if I was going to drop that much money on lookin stupid, I would need to find someone to intermittently kick me in the balls for lookin like a douche' bag.

As it turns out, I like my balls, so I'm not getting a 59fifty hat. I don't care how much rap music tells me they're cool.

Breathe

2009-11-23T12:31:00.000-08:00

I used to see those signs and just shake my head in disappointment. Disappointed that I could go to a bar, fill myself so full of alcohol that my piss would be flammable, drive home and kill someone but I couldn't light up a cigarette. Now I find myself among the many masses of people who choose not to smoke. 17 years of smoking and now I've dropped it without even weening myself off of it. Just *boom* done. I'm ready to quit though. My sinuses suck, I can't run, I get outta breath climbin stairs. It's sad. No more I say.

So my Dr. presecribed Chantix. I'm sure you've heard about it.

The side-effects of this drug have caused A LOT of controversy. Here are just a few of them...
-Irritability
-Insomnia
-Paranoia
-Depression
-Vivid Nightmares
-Suicidal Ideation

Sounds like one hell of a party doesn't it? The nightmares I can handle. The paranoia and insomnia are gonna suck though.

Anyway, don't worry I'm not gonna kill myself. I'm just gonna have to be stubborn about this not smoking thing. I wanna quit and from what I hear, that's the most important step. Committing to quitting. I think I can do it. I hope I can do it. If I can go a full year without smoking, I'm going to buy myself a new car. Incentive baby...it's all about the incentive.

Bugatti

2009-11-19T13:16:00.000-08:00

Here it is ladies and gentlemen, 2009 The Bugatti Veyron...

Does it really need to be explained how bad ass this car is? I mean, from where I sit...there really is no adjective in the English language or any other language for that matter that can descibe the bad assness that this car encapsulates. I guess that leaves me with the task of creating a word to describe the bad assness. But alas, I'm left speechless. Unable to close my gaping mouth long enough to come up with a word. Perhaps another picture is warranted...

Here are the specs for this bad mamma jamma...

Base Price $1,400,000

Drivetrain 4-Wheel Drive

Curb Weight (lbs)4470

Horsepower 1001 @ 6000

Torque (lb-ft) 922 @ 2200

Wheelbase (in.)106.7

Length (in.)175.7

Width (in.) 78.7

Height (in.) 47.4

With a claimed 1001 horsepower, the Veyron is a major technical achievement. Its engine has 16 cylinders, essentially formed by joining two V8 engines at the crank.

This W16 powerplant displaces 8.0 liters and features ten radiators for everything from the engine cooling systems to the air conditioner.

The $1.3 million Veyron will reach a top speed of 253 mph - a speed it can maintain for 12 minutes before all the fuel is gone. Power is transmitted to the pavement via four-wheel-drive and a seven-speed dual-clutch automated manual transmission.

The car can hit 60 mph in just 2.5 seconds, 100 mph in 5.5 seconds, and 150 mph in 9.8 seconds. Getting to 200 mph takes 18.3 seconds, and 250 mph takes 42.3 seconds.

A special key is required to "unlock" the Veyron's top speed of 250+ mph. The car is then lowered to just 3.5 inches from the ground. A hydraulic

A special key is needed to unlock the top speed!? Holy biscuits batman! I now have a goal.

$507.30 Part II

2009-11-13T11:24:00.000-08:00

I pick up the phone, dial the numbers and wait for the ring...

it's ringing...

someone picks up on the other end..."S******s Automotive!"

I chime in. "Yeah, I brought my car there yesterday to have some suspension work done."

Guy says..."what did we do for ya and what kind of car was it."

I reply, "you guys replaced the inner tie rod end, a wheel bearing and replaced my front brakes and rotors."

Guy says..."ok, what can I do for you"?

I say, "well, the car was in perfect alignment when I brought it in there yesterday, then when I drove it off your property after you'd 'fixed' it, I had the wheel turned almost halfway to the right and I was going straight! You guys threw my car out of alignment and I'd like for you to fix it".

Guy retorts, "well, we don't do alignments here first of all. Second of all, nobody here told you that you'd need to have an alignment done once we performed all of this stuff".

Me, "no".

Guy, "yeah, you need an alignment after any suspension work is done".

Me, "ok, well can you guys do it since you didn't deem necessary to tell me that it would need to be done"?

Guy, "sure thing...it'll be $90 and you can bring it in anytime".

Me, "$90!!!"

I hung up on him. I don't know about you, but in my opinion, I got screwed.

$507.30

2009-11-12T12:05:00.000-08:00

Had to get some work done on my car. It's a 2004 Cavalier. It's in pretty good shape, but a few years ago I totaled it. The insurance company took pity on me and decided to pay to have it fixed. Now, since it was totaled the car is worth little more than $1000. That really sucks when you consider the work that I had to have done to it today totaled about HALF of what the car is worth. Bogus. I'm bummed.

Constructive Criticism

2009-11-11T15:35:00.000-08:00

I'm all about constructive criticism. I can take it and not take offense. What bothers me is people who complain about something you do and don't offer a solution. When that happens, it's gone from contstructive criticism straight into out-right complaining. Complaining fixes nothing.

This hit me when I was on the air the other day. I had a text message saying something derogatory about I song I was playing on the radio. Then another person texted in and told me that I'm stupid. This got me to thinkin'. Do you go into the store and the moment you find a piece of clothing you don't like, go to the teller and tell them their store sucks? Or when you're in a restaurant, if you find an item on the menu you don't like. Do you call the waiter over and tell them their restaurant sucks? No, in both instances you move on and find something you DO like. For some reason, radio seems to be the only medium where people will find ONE THING about the station they don't like and make sure to tell you about it. Look, there's 24 hours of programming. I'm sure that in the 2 minutes you hear something you DON'T like, there will be another 23 hours and 58 minutes of something you DO like.

So here's my suggestion. Rather than calling or texting me and telling me about something you DON'T like and insulting me at my job; wait a couple minutes. I promise you'll hear something you DO like.

#1

2009-11-11T08:07:00.000-08:00

Alright, I'm just starting this thing and will be updating it as much as possible so check back here often for FUN AND EXCITING THINGS!!! OK, that was a lil over the top. Off to the Dr. now. I'm gonna try to quit smoking. Wish me luck.